New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
