Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
