After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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