My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
