After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Randomize
