ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
