i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
