woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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