While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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