yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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