I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
