i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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