we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
