im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
