his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
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I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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