And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
