well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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