erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
