what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
