Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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