He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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