Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
