that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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