The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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