she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
