We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Sext me about skeletons
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
