...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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