The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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