FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I'm passing your future prison.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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