Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
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He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
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I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I just had sex on a roof
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize