oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
