from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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