you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
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Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
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She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...