That's when you crack a 10am beer
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
