so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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