Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The power of my boobs compel you
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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