You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
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My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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