I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
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My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
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Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.