My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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