she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?