Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH