Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.

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  (631): So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that. http://tfl.nu/a0qi
  Replies (11) Good night (3626) Bad night (1124)
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  (530): View more from California

  just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life

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  (530): just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life http://tfl.nu/64wx
  Replies (28) Good night (7789) Bad night (706)
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  (555): View more from

  Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.

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  (555): Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style. http://tfl.nu/a25z
  Replies (30) Good night (2116) Bad night (4011)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"

  (1-301): View more from Maryland

  Soulmates.

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  (301): He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?" (1-301): Soulmates. http://tfl.nu/8tiz
  Replies (28) Good night (4324) Bad night (1281)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me

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  (973): i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me http://tfl.nu/lmdm
  Replies (20) Good night (6581) Bad night (1021)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.

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  (204): There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed. http://tfl.nu/gq2o
  Replies (4) Good night (2488) Bad night (819)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.

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  (919): I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face. http://tfl.nu/zz9g
  Replies (9) Good night (2041) Bad night (915)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake

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  (503): We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake http://tfl.nu/m3xg
  Replies (13) Good night (3348) Bad night (803)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.

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  (303): My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume. http://tfl.nu/bk4q
  Replies (8) Good night (2755) Bad night (834)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...

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  (717): He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again... http://tfl.nu/wz8h
  Replies (8) Good night (775) Bad night (2407)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.

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  (773): He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date. http://tfl.nu/geei
  Replies (5) Good night (406) Bad night (1378)
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  (510): View more from California

  This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.

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  (510): This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him. http://tfl.nu/bezf
  Replies (18) Good night (1774) Bad night (387)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?

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  (413): Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later? http://tfl.nu/klxq
  Replies (6) Good night (834) Bad night (214)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band

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  (503): I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band http://tfl.nu/jb22
  Replies (1) Good night (335) Bad night (409)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...

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  (314): mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again... http://tfl.nu/jopn
  Replies (4) Good night (376) Bad night (536)

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