Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.