Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
These 17 People Made Horrible Decisions That Ruined Their Lives
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
