Texts From Last Night

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??

  (630): View more from Illinois

  savin' lives aint cheap

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  (973): haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance?? (630): savin' lives aint cheap http://tfl.nu/eb5j
  Replies (23) Good night (1797) Bad night (643)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  so how does one go about finding a summer fling?

  (214): View more from Texas

  take advantage of an intern

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  (314): so how does one go about finding a summer fling? (214): take advantage of an intern http://tfl.nu/k22l
  Replies (18) Good night (2762) Bad night (542)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter

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  (914): Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter http://tfl.nu/3hf7
  Replies (128) Good night (2700) Bad night (3894)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?

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  (215): what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop? http://tfl.nu/1iue
  Replies (245) Good night (5142) Bad night (1138)
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  (315): View more from New York

  We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."

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  (315): We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah." http://tfl.nu/z1lt
  Replies (82) Good night (1585) Bad night (22130)
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  (661): View more from California

  He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.

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  (661): He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina. http://tfl.nu/ay3j
  Replies (23) Good night (7696) Bad night (1147)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee

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  (314): Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee http://tfl.nu/57zq
  Replies (20) Good night (8656) Bad night (1192)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.

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  (216): I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting. http://tfl.nu/kqku
  Replies (29) Good night (4251) Bad night (1087)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.

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  (337): Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning. http://tfl.nu/g9g5
  Replies (19) Good night (9166) Bad night (1292)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for

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  (602): I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for http://tfl.nu/u905
  Replies (31) Good night (5265) Bad night (1116)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day

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  (601): Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day http://tfl.nu/ht8i
  Replies (14) Good night (2858) Bad night (1043)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'

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  (425): we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul' http://tfl.nu/04nj
  Replies (3) Good night (1098) Bad night (463)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.

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  (704): I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes. http://tfl.nu/6fin
  Replies (5) Good night (899) Bad night (614)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I chugged that bitch with a dip in.

  (614): View more from Ohio

  You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.

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  (937): I chugged that bitch with a dip in. (614): You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you. http://tfl.nu/o45c
  Replies (3) Good night (697) Bad night (385)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?

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  (719): Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit? http://tfl.nu/ng8r
  Replies (2) Good night (1196) Bad night (353)

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