I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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