I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
And then the night went full on bisexual.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
