I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
