I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Rumble strips road head = magical
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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