seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
