I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
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Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
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Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize