it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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