why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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