So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
