haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
my being single is dangerous.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize