Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
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