i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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