Life is so much better after having sex.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
