I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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