"it" just moved
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
