Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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