At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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