I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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