I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
