Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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